Last Week it Was a Fake Assault. Now, Rudy Giuliani Accidentally Admits He Asked For a Pardon From Trump.

     Rudy Giuliani is an absolute embarrassment of a human being. Literally, in the brief period of time it took me to do my prep research, another story came out. This time, it was Rudy advertising MyPillow products on his official Twitter account. Just take a second to think about that: the former U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York, the most prominent U.S. attorney's office in the country; the former mayor of New York City who became a household name after 9/11; the former legal adviser to the president of the United States; and Mr. Giuliani is hocking discounted pillow company sandals on social media. Of course, that's no surprise: I wrote an article on what an embarrassment of a human being Giuliani is months ago.

     On June 10th, the disciplinary branch of the D.C. bar filed ethics charges against Rudy Giuliani, the latest blow to his reputation and ability to practice law. His law license was suspended in New York and Washington, D.C., the only places where he is licensed, last year. These ethics charges could make the suspension permanent in the latter location. Somehow, an ethics charge wasn't the most embarrassing thing to happen to Hair Dye Esquire in the month of June. He campaigned for his son, Andrew, in the Republican primary for New York governor, a campaign Andrew lost. Still, his MAGA son losing like a bitch wasn't the big story from June, either.

     That came in a supermarket in Staten Island. A ShopRite employee came up behind Giuliani, patted him on the back, and said, "What's up scumbag?" He called Giuliani a woman-killer in relation to the Supreme Court's worst decision ever before walking calmly away. Giuliani called the police, stating he had been punched in the back of the head so hard that it felt as if he had "been shot." New York Mayor Eric Adams said something I quite agree with: the charges against the man should be dismissed and charges should be filed against Giuliani for making a false report to the police. Video shows that Giuliani hardly even reacted to the man when it happened, and now an innocent person is facing assault charges. Giuliani claimed he's lucky he's a 78-year-old man "who's in pretty good shape" or he would have fallen and cracked his skull; his son Andrew said the "assault" on his father was political. It was political, but it wasn't an assault. This employee should sue Giuliani and his son Andrew for defamation; he would win handily.

     Of course, Giuliani couldn't let that be the end of his embarrassment in June. The Trump team has spent millions of dollars trying to discredit and sway witnesses in the January 6th Committee's investigation; if they felt it were a "witch hunt" not based in fact, they would not need to do that. When Cassidy Hutchinson said that she was present when Rudy Giuliani asked for a pardon, Giuliani said both that she was lying because she was "not present when I asked for a pardon" and that he didn't ask for a pardon. So he both admits to and denies asking for a pardon.

     Given the MyPillow sandals tweet, July doesn't seem like it'll be much better. When James Woods is probably embarrassed to have portrayed you, you know you're pathetic. Mr. Hair Dye Esquire is nothing but a disgrace.