Ted Cruz Has Spent His Whole Life Currying Favor

     Ted Cruz,

     As Theodore Roosevelt may have colorfully put, you have the backbone of a chocolate élcair. You called Donald Trump a coward after he insulted your wife. When the 2016 election came, you told people to vote their conscience. When the 2020 election came, you were Donald Trump's errand boy.

     You liked a porn tweet on your official account and ate a booger on live TV. You, the Hispanic immigrant, have made a career of hatred toward Hispanic immigrants. You try to outdo Hawley and the others by asking questions, and as a result you only make people question your capacity for the basic intellectual processes characteristic of anything but a zombie.

     You, in 2024, will likely to presume yourself to be the perfect choice for president. You, Ted Cruz, have a Republican Super PAC coming after your seat. Thriving is out of the question for you.