Ted Cruz's Animal Abuse

     It's hard not to hate Ted Cruz, especially if you like anyone besides Ted Cruz. The latest victim of Ten-Gallon Ted's incompetence? His dog. The poodle, named "Snowflake," could have been named after her white fur or as a jab on Cruz's part against what he believes is the greatest threat facing humanity: emotion. Either way, it didn't matter.

    For the portly 'Publican's poor pooch, "Snowflake" came to represent suffering. As millions of Texans struggled without heat, Cruz decided to leave his dog home alone in the frigid temperatures, as photographed by protestors surrounding his residence. I understand you hate people, Ted, because you make it so easy for them to hate you, but what did a dog ever do to you, aside lick peanut butter you put on your 41 and 43.